This is that Flash game where the Mac version inexplicably only works on Classic.
Wouldn’t releasing the original Flash file be easier? Oh well. On to the review.
You find a familiar-looking plastic heart under the bed. It’s the light-up valentine Ex gave you last year! YOU GOT A PLASTIC HEART! But it’s worth noting that the batteries are dead. Metaphor city.
When I first played this game, my spastic clicking skills somehow skipped me past the intro and I didn’t realize there was any sort of objective. I assumed it was one of those random-insane-humor CYOA games where the whole point was to click around and read funny stuff. Then I noticed the ‘dating sim’ element and also decided this was actually a parody of dating sims and it was impossible to get any dates. Hence, the lack of save game was a brilliant move — it unhooked the player from any desire to retry options, and let them simply enjoy the experiential flow of silliness.
Then I discovered the truth. Oops.
Really, it’s a pity, because there’s some good chunks of funny in here. In one case just the possible choices made me laugh.
Sometimes the humor has a good intro but the finish falls flat:
Hoping against all hope, you try to cast a spell on the big fella, but you either don’t have magic powers, or you’re low on MP. The Big Fella attacks! ‘ULTIMATE ATTACK: BULLY OF THE BEAST!’ He punches you in the face and you go flying into the parking lot.
Trying to use magic in a world universe with none: funny. Attempt at giving the move a kung-fu name: not funny. I wish I could be more precise than that. Humor is a bear to analyze, and it’s so subjective; someone probably laughed orange soda out of their nose as they read the excerpt above.
Of course, all this is undercut by the game requiring 100+ replays to figure out the right choices and win. I will look forward to the walkthrough.
Renga in Blue 
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